Hues of Violet, Shades of Gray
by wordflows
Summary: Ruki and Jenrya find their lives falling apart, and take comfort in the closest thing they find. Soon they will learn that sometimes fate takes things into its own hands and leads them to where they need to be, no matter how hard the journey may be.
1. Expression Equals Impossible

Disclaimer: No warnings. I'm way too out of the mood to write them. Read the rating and perhaps it'll all make sense, ne? Anyways, I own nothing I don't own. Hope that made the tiniest bit of sense. I hope you can bring yourselves to forgive me if this stinks, and read and review and enjoy it anyways. A girl can always hope, can't she? Bye for now! Be kind! ~.^ ~~Forever3330~~ ^.~  
  
Side Note: I will use Japanese names in the story, and may use a few Japanese or Chinese words. I know about two words in Chinese, and a few in Japanese. All you need to know is listed below.Though if you're an avid anime fanfiction reader, you should know all of this. Please don't get too annoyed when I do so. I don't do it on purpose, it's just my fanfiction mode writing style.  
  
English-Japanese  
  
Jeri-Juri  
  
Takato-Takato  
  
Henry-Jenrya (Last name is Lee)  
  
Suzy-Shuicon (Last name is Lee)  
  
Rika-Ruki (Last name is Makino)  
  
Kenta-Kenta  
  
Kazu-Hirakazu  
  
Ryo-Ryo  
  
Various Words and phrases (Japanese and Chinese to English.):  
  
1) Ohayou - hello 2) onii - brother 3) Yo - yo 4) chotto matte - wait a minute, hold on 5) hai - yes 6) Tadaima - I'm home 7) Gomen nasai - I'm sorry 8) Daijoubu - okay 9) Arigatou - Thanks 10) Hontou - Really? 11) Ne - like asking for agreement.like putting 'okay?' at the end of a sentence 12) Ano. - ummm. 13) Baka - silly, stupid...a million things really...all depends on the context 14) O-yasumi - goodnight 15) Onegai - please 16) furin: a wind bell with a small piece of paper hanging from it; seen in a lot of animé 17) zettai daijoubu desu yo - everything will always be alright! 18) Sono mama de iinda - stay the way you are 18) hanasa nai de - please don't leave me/ don't let go Ikimasu! - let's go 19) Wo ai ni - I love you 20) Aishiteru - I love you 21) Konbanwa - Good evening 22) Konnichiwa - Good morning 23) Kawaii - cute 24) Ogenki desuka - How are you? 25) Daijoubu desuka - Are you alright?  
Hues of Violet, Shades of Gray~~A Digimon Tamers Fanfiction  
  
By Forever3330  
  
Prologue: Expression Equals Impossible  
  
Things tended to swirl around and mix and blur together until there were no more lines dividing them, telling you clearly what was what. Memories became so befuddled that all you could recognize was a few colors and shapes. Everything simply existed and went on.  
  
Even if it left you wishing you could stop and run and hide and sleep away eternity. Nothing was there to comfort you.  
  
"Makino-san." A tall blonde teacher glanced at the blank canvas in front of her student. Sighing, she pushed her glasses further up her nose. "Haven't you thought of what you want to do yet? It's been a week."  
  
"I'm still not clear on the assignment, Yamasaki-sensei." The violet- eyed girl's tone was polite and precise, but distant. She didn't seem to care much.  
  
"Please, call me Mitsuo. I'm not old enough to be referred to with such.respect. Let me at least pretend I'm not, anyways." She laughed slightly. "Makino-san, all I want you to do is express yourself. It needn't be in paint only. You can do poetry, carve, record a song, do anything you want, well, within school rules."  
  
Ruki stared at her teacher. Was that supposed to help? "That's not a clear assignment."  
  
"It isn't supposed to be."  
  
"What does any of this have to do with Music?" The auburn haired girl tilted her head to one side, pushing a few loose strands out of the way. Her hair color had deepened over the years, and it now reached her shoulders. It was pulled back in a French braid now, if only because Juri had slept over the night before.  
  
"Music is something that needs to come freely. Therefore, Makino- san, you need to learn how to free yourself." Mitsuo straightened. "You may play the piano perfectly, but I want to hear emotion inside of it."  
  
Ruki nodded, acting as if all of this suddenly, magically made sense. As if. Mitsuo smiled, and moved on to the next struggling student. "I don't believe I'm chained." The girl muttered. How to express emotion. Joy. Mitsuo was right, though. She could play without missing a note, but it sounded hollow, even to her. That was why she was taking this class.  
  
Like it mattered anymore if she could do piano. Slowly, her grades were dropping to B's and C's. They would probably go lower, though she fought the battle with all the strength she could muster, but it was a struggle already to keep her few precious B's. Her mother didn't quite care anyways. Music she had been doing well in, until they lost their old teacher, who simply gave them Music Theory books to read and note and memorize, and gotten Mitsuo, a fresh new teacher who had insane ideas.  
  
Slowly, her perfect image was being shattered, revealing what lay beneath. Revealing her. She did not like that. New pressures, new problems, everything breaking. Her Mother had started dating again, getting her heart broken at least once a week, and always looking for Ruki to help. Her Grandmother had gone on a year-long cruise, wanting to get out for a while, not like the auburn-haired girl could blame her. The Tamers were having a few on and off problems in the Digiworld, but nothing too serious. The fights they were having amongst themselves were far more serious.  
  
Ruki looked down at her hands. Her wrists had scars running across them, old and new. She never actually went through with anything fully. She just went far enough to FEEL something. Anything. Then she would go and find her Grandmother's medical supplies and fix it up to look like something else had happened. Then it was off to the hospital to get 'better'. She was starting to want to go through with it. To keep her thoughts away from the idea, she had begun burying herself within her studies and the Digimon Card game. Still, it was hard to keep concentrated. None of the Tamers had noticed; they went to a different school, and she made sure to keep her image picture-perfect around them, no matter how much it wore her out.  
  
And now, of all times, she had to deal with her unofficial place being taken over. Usually she'd just supply any firepower needed, sarcasm being her secondary job. Now Ryo, the jerk, was taking over the firepower. And it annoyed the hell out of Ruki, who did not like to have her position taken. Especially when it was by one of the only people who could beat her at the Digimon Card Game.  
  
This was all getting to be way too much to handle. Sighing, she dipped her brush into a jar of red paint. Then she swiftly painted a few strokes, then stopped, stood, and stepped back.  
  
"Makino-san?" Mika, the girl next to her, looked at what Ruki had drawn, and she tilted her head. Three jagged lines. "Um.what's that supposed to be?"  
  
"Another sure sign that I'm no artist." Ruki turned and walked out of the room.  
  
"Wait! Class isn't over yet!" Mika sighed when she saw the other girl disappear into the hallways. Oh well. She still had work to do.  
  
END PROLOGUE 


	2. Behind This Face

Disclaimer: I'm keeping this at R because there will be much violence. But thanks to those who reviewed. ^,^ This is darker then my normal fics, so just bear with me, alright? I'll get the plot moving in Chapter 2, since the prologue and chapter 1 are just setting the scene. Kinda. I don't own any copyrighted items. I hope you enjoy the fanfic! ~.^ ~~Forever3330~~ ^.~  
  
Side Note: This story will be quite long, but it shouldn't take me all that long to finish it. I think. I hope. Anyways, I hope it's not too horrid. Since a few of you out there liked it, I'll be happy for that. I always am. Bye for now!  
  
English-Japanese  
  
Jeri-Juri  
  
Takato-Takato  
  
Henry-Jenrya (Last name is Lee)  
  
Suzy-Shuicon (Last name is Lee)  
  
Rika-Ruki (Last name is Makino)  
  
Kenta-Kenta  
  
Kazu-Hirakazu  
  
Ryo-Ryo  
  
Various Words and phrases (Japanese and Chinese to English.):  
  
1)Ohayou - hello 2) onii - brother 3) Yo - yo 4) chotto matte - wait a minute, hold on 5) hai - yes 6) Tadaima - I'm home 7) Gomen nasai - I'm sorry 8) Daijoubu - okay 9) Arigatou - Thanks 10) Hontou - Really? 11) Ne - like asking for agreement.like putting 'okay?' at the end of a sentence 12) Ano. - ummm. 13) Baka - silly, stupid...a million things really...all depends on the context 14) O-yasumi - goodnight 15) Onegai - please 16) furin: a wind bell with a small piece of paper hanging from it; seen in a lot of animé 17) zettai daijoubu desu yo - everything will always be alright! 18) Sono mama de iinda - stay the way you are 18) hanasa nai de - please don't leave me/ don't let go Ikimasu! - let's go 19) Wo ai ni - I love you 20) Aishiteru - I love you 21) Konbanwa - Good evening 22) Konnichiwa - Good morning 23) Kawaii - cute 24) Ogenki desuka - How are you? 25) Daijoubu desuka - Are you alright?  
Hues of Violet, Shades of Gray~~A Digimon Tamers Fanfiction  
  
By Forever3330  
  
Chapter One: Behind This Face  
  
Sometimes when it rains, you can walk outside and tilt your head up to the heavens, letting rain fall around and on you. It runs over your skin, soaking in, leaking into every part of you, until you are the cold fresh wetness that dances down to the ground, hurrying to seep into whatever opens up to you. You become the rain.  
  
And that is when you leave every worry and fear behind, simply BEING, not any particular creature, just the world itself, and the rare pure beauty that can be found within it.  
  
Then it ends.  
  
Jerked out of his thoughts, feeling a tug on his sleeve, the blue- haired boy looked down. His younger sister was looking at him with concern, her brow furrowed. "Nii-san, what's wrong? You've been zoning out for a while now." Shuicon, more often referred to as Suzie, tilted her head, long chestnut hair tumbling over her shoulder. "Are you feeling sick?" Twelve years old, she came up to his shoulder, seeming to have gotten the growth spurt she had been wishing for.  
  
Jenrya blinked, then smiled. "No. Just thinking about a school project, is all." He turned back to what he had been observing. Sakura trees with raindrops bouncing off of them. The blossoms weren't quite in bloom yet, though he knew that when they did there would be festivals and summer would have come.  
  
"What's it about?"  
  
Damn. Hadn't anticipated that question. He really must be getting slow, even though he was only sixteen. "Um.We're supposed to read about foreign cultures, and then write a report with some visuals to help out."  
  
"We? It's a group project?" The younger girl smiled. "Who's your partner?"  
  
"You wouldn't know him."  
  
"I might." She looked determined.  
  
"My partner's.Harumada Hiito. He's the type most don't notice." Probably because he doesn't exist.  
  
"Oh. You're right; I've never heard of him." Shuicon glanced back at the Sakura trees, then sighed. "Come on. We have to get to the Tamers meeting. It's a good thing Ruki-san's Mother and Grandmother are out. We can't all fit in the old meeting place, and the rain is dreadful."  
  
"You go ahead. I want to look around the park for a few more moments." The blue-haired teen smiled, slipping his hands inside of his light jacket.  
  
Shuicon rolled her eyes. "Niiiiiiii-chan! Fine. I'll tell Takato-kun and the others that you'll be a little late."  
  
"Arigatou." Jenrya waved as his sister ran out of sight, holding tightly to her umbrella. To his knowledge, he didn't own an umbrella. He never used one, and his parents had given up on trying to convince him to wear even a hooded jacket. Jenrya insisted on a windbreaker only, no hood.  
  
Because he liked the feelings rain upon your skin brought. Liked the way all fears and worries and dreams and hopes drifted away, leaving him empty, letting him simply EXIST.  
  
There were no thoughts of the Tamers' problems, of school, of his family, of anything. No thoughts of death or life or anything in-between. No Tamer's asking him for advice on problems. No nothing.  
  
It was simple enough to fool them, now that he had the hang of it. In a way, he had always been wearing his face as a mask of sorts. But it was becoming tiring to have to do such a thing, to keep himself together and calm. Like he had to.  
  
For everyone.  
  
Everyone.oh. The meeting. Right. Shaking his head, Jenrya started to walk in the direction Shuicon had set off running.  
  
~  
  
Sitting down upon her best friend's bed, Juri wondered what was happening to the team. Battles amongst the Tamers were ripping them apart, tearing the seams between them slowly. There was no way they could handle problems in the digital world if this kept up. Takato slowed to a walk as he ran up to the door of Ruki's room, and sat carefully across the room from Juri. As far away as he could get. The brunette sniffed and turned her head. She was NOT going to talk to him. She knew the fight was stupid, in a way, childish, but it really couldn't be helped. She would not, could not, forgive him.  
  
Kenta and Hirakazu already had seats by Ruki's low table, and were occupying themselves with a friendly game of Digimon cards. Well, semi- friendly. Things had become tense between them for a while, and though Juri knew the reason behind these tensions, it wasn't really her place to say anything.  
  
Shuicon plopped down beside her, breathing hard, cheeks flushed. "Nii- san will be a little late. He wanted to walk in the park a bit more."  
  
"Daijoubu." Juri said, her voice soft. Words between most of the Tamers now seemed fragile, as if they could break by just being said. "I don't think Jenrya-san will let that slow him down all that much."  
  
"Yeah. You admire him for being slow, I bet. Thoughtful." Takato's words were harsher then hers, being aimed at her, and meant to sting.  
  
"Gomen ne. I didn't mean to be late. Last period ran a little late." Or it would have, if she had been there. Ruki entered, slippers padding softly on the floor. Her hair was still up, and she was wearing an oversized maroon sweater. Ruki had started wearing sweaters a few years back, around the time when she had become more quiet-for Ruki, anyways. And less sarcastic. She usually ignored the others, for the most part, but wasn't engaged in any of the fights. That left her in a worse position. She was often pushed to take sides, and trying to stay neutral took lots of energy.  
  
"Renamon let me in. Nothing to worry about." Juri smiled slightly, though hurt was still in her eyes. "She said something about going out for a while. I think she went to round up those of us who didn't get the info about the meeting."  
  
"Daijoubu." The auburn-haired girl pulled over a stool from her desk, which was by the window, and sat down. She tugged one sleeve down more, although they already covered a good portion of her hands. No one really knew what she did to herself, and she wasn't in any hurry to let them find out. Tracing an imaginary line on her khakis, she kept her head down. Looking up would mean meeting someone's eyes. Meeting someone's eyes would mean possibly displaying herself. Her true self. Her self they couldn't see.  
  
Shuicon cleared her throat, uncomfortable in the silence. "Um, how's the game going, you guys?" Kenta and Hirakazu didn't reply, too absorbed in the game to notice. Takato shifted, then stood and walked over to watch them. The brown-eyed girl sighed. The quiet was way too much. Turning to Juri and Ruki, she tried again. "How have you two been lately?"  
  
"Well enough." Juri said, sounding anything but 'well enough'.  
  
Ruki was silent. She pulled out her hair tie and demolished the braid, letting her now longer-then-shoulder-length hair tumble down. She didn't seem to be in the talking mood. Not like she ever WAS.  
  
"Ha! I win!" Hirakazu stood and assumed his 'victory' pose, which wasn't really all that surprising. He could beat anyone but Ryo, Ruki, and Jenrya, when the blue-haired boy actually played the game. No one was sure if he could beat Juri, since she had never played against him.  
  
"You don't have to brag." Kenta glared.  
  
"Aw, c'mon. It's fun to play, anyways. I just think it's even more fun to win!" Hirakazu punched Kenta in the shoulder lightly, and to Shuicon's surprise, the other boy didn't look too mad. "And I won!"  
  
"You're a sore winner."  
  
"Is that even a term? And you're a sore loser." The brown-haired boy shrugged. "Anyways, I won, I won, I won!"  
  
Ruki rolled her eyes. "Great, Visor-head. We're all so happy for you. So shut up already." She pushed some of her hair over her shoulder. Shuicon started to smile. The tension was lightening a bit, for a while, she hoped.  
  
"Hey! Don't tell me what to do!"  
  
"Why shouldn't I? You obviously can't be left to your own devices, as shown through many, many disasters in the digital world." The auburn haired girl arched an eyebrow. "You mean to tell me you're suddenly capable of doing things without my instruction?"  
  
"You mean criticism! And as if I ever needed you! I can do things just fine on my own!"  
  
"Would you like me to name all of the times that prove otherwise, Visor-head?"  
  
Hirakazu fumed. "When will you stop calling me that?!"  
  
"Never. You'll never reach the level where I can call you by an actual name." Ruki looked on in slight amusement as Hirakazu began to rant. "Anyways, why should I do what you want me to?"  
  
"Stop it, you two. No useless fighting." Takato glared at them, and Juri felt herself sigh along with Shuicon. The two had been playing, in a way, loosening up the atmosphere. But Takato was still angry, to say the least, and he probably hadn't noticed that fact. "Don't provoke everyone, Ruki. It does no one any good. You're just being annoying."  
  
The auburn-haired girl shrunk back a bit, anger filling her. She pushed the thoughts away and muttered something that sounded like an 'okay', though she herself wasn't quite sure exactly what was muttered.  
  
"How'd I lose, anyways?" Kenta examined the board. "It doesn't make sense."  
  
"If you hadn't made this move, you might have won." Ryo, whose presence had gone undetected until that moment, pointed to something, then launched into a complicated explanation of exactly what had happened.  
  
Ruki imagined strangling the boy, until he straightened.  
  
"Anyways, what's up, everyone?"  
  
"Nothing much." Takato smiled, probably for the first time during the meeting. "Where'd you learn all that?"  
  
"He's the Digimon King. Duh." Hirakazu looked thoughtful. "I'll have to make sure I don't give Kenta-kun an opening like that ever again."  
  
"I wish I had thought of that move before." Kenta added wistfully. "It would be nice to win for once."  
  
"Nothing." Juri said, still not sounding well.  
  
"Me neither. It sure is a horrid day, though." Shuicon said, shivering.  
  
Ruki frowned. She didn't think it was a horrid day. Rain was wonderful. It was wet cold fresh and smelled pretty like a perfume she couldn't name. You could stand in the grass as the rain fell, bare-footed, and wriggle your toes, and laugh at the sensation.  
  
"I could tutor you if you like." Ryo said to Kenta, smiling. "Then maybe you could win sometimes."  
  
"Really?! That's great!"  
  
"Can I come to the lessons too?" Takato asked. "I still haven't quite managed to beat Kazu-kun every time we play. He needs to know what it feels like."  
  
"Sure." Ryo smiled again.  
  
"I'm coming too! No way are you guys gonna learn anything I can't!" Takato and Kenta groaned.  
  
"Kazu-kun, that would ruin the entire purpose of the lessons." Takato said.  
  
"So? I'm not gonna let you two get better then me. I'll be a sore winner to the end!"  
  
"Sorry I'm late." Jenrya hurried in, and smiled. "I got lost in the crowds near the shops. Valentine's is coming up, I guess."  
  
"Yeah." Takato said, nodding. "We'll start now, then."  
  
"Yeah." Ryo sat down beside Takato, and Jenrya found a chair to sit on.  
  
END CHAPTER  
  
Note: o.O; That was short. Not as short as the prologue, but short all the same. I hope that I can write a longer chapter next time. Bye for now! Please review! 


	3. When The Wall Breaks

Disclaimer: ^,^; I'm glad the majority of the people who read this liked it. Soon we'll be getting to the part where it gets R-rated. This will probably be over ten chapters. The prologue and first chapter were just there to get you aquatinted with what was going on. I hope nothing in the fanfic offends you. This is just a little something I had an idea for after reading all the really, really happy fanfics. I guess I had to do at least one dark fic. I'll get back to my other fics, the ones I need to finish, later. I really need to get at least one finished. A series one, I mean. I have tons of one shots.I will finish! I will! Now, enough of my crazed ranting, and onto the fanfiction! ~.^ ~~Forever3330~~ ^.~  
  
English-Japanese  
  
Jeri-Juri 16  
  
Takato-Takato 16  
  
Henry-Jenrya (Last name is Lee) 16  
  
Suzy-Shuicon (Last name is Lee) 14  
  
Rika-Ruki (Last name is Makino) 16  
  
Kenta-Kenta 16  
  
Kazu-Hirakazu 16  
  
Ryo-Ryo 16  
  
Various Words and phrases (Japanese and Chinese to English.):  
  
1) Ohayou - hello 2) onii - brother 3) Yo - yo 4) chotto matte - wait a minute, hold on 5) hai - yes 6) Tadaima - I'm home 7) Gomen nasai - I'm sorry 8) Daijoubu - okay 9) Arigatou - Thanks 10) Hontou - Really? 11) Ne - like asking for agreement.like putting 'okay?' at the end of a sentence 12) Ano. - ummm. 13) Baka - silly, stupid...a million things really...all depends on the context 14) O-yasumi - goodnight 15) Onegai - please 16) furin: a wind bell with a small piece of paper hanging from it; seen in a lot of animé 17) zettai daijoubu desu yo - everything will always be alright! 18) Sono mama de iinda - stay the way you are 18) hanasa nai de - please don't leave me/ don't let go 19) Ikimasu! - let's go 20) Wo ai ni - I love you 21) Aishiteru - I love you 22) Konbanwa - Good evening 23) Konnichiwa - Good morning 24) Kawaii - cute 25) Ogenki desuka - How are you? 26) Daijoubu desuka - Are you alright?  
Hues of Violet, Shades of Gray~~A Digimon Tamers Fanfiction  
  
By Forever3330  
  
Chapter Two: When The Wall Breaks  
  
It's strange when you see the mouth moving, feel the vibrations of a person's voice, but can't hear their voice. It feels as if you exist, but you don't. Or more accurately, as if one half of you is in the world, and one half is out. You seem to waver between the lines, not quite caring that you can't hear anything, enjoying the silence for a few precious moments, before your ears instinctually seek out the sound, and pull you back over the line, away from the strange world of silence.  
  
"Plus, summer is going to be here in a few weeks, and then we'll have all the time we need to make a few exploration rounds." Takato said, adding on to something he had said before. Unfortunately, Ruki did not read lips.  
  
"True." Ryo looked thoughtful. "Still, we'd better check in on the Digiworld every so often. We don't want some type of problem growing. Time IS faster there, after all."  
  
Juri glanced up. "Yeah." The brunette didn't sound very committed to the conversation. For that matter, the majority of the tamers remained quiet, letting Takato, Hirakazu, and Ryo dominate the conversation.  
  
"I don't get why we have to check up on the Digiworld at all!" Hirakazu complained, fiddling with his visor. "It's usually pretty good about telling us when there's a problem."  
  
"Yeah, by sending big, scary, evil digimon out at us." Shuicon rolled her eyes. "I agree with Ryo-san on this one. I'd much prefer having a warning without the evil digimon."  
  
"Uh.you have a point there." Kazu sweatdropped.  
  
"Of course I do. Besides, the Digimon can take care of the patrols on their own for a while. If anything happens, we'll know. They've been doing it for months now."  
  
"Are we done?" Ruki looked up from her hands, impatient all of the sudden. "I have things I need to do. And if the meeting isn't finished soon my Mother will get home before I have a chance to do any of them."  
  
"Then we'd better end." Ryo said. "Why don't we meet up next week, same time, same day, at Takato's? That is, if your house is free." He looked at the other boy.  
  
"Yeah. Mom and Dad are going to some Baker's convention." Takato sweatdropped. "They tried to pull me along, but I said I had a school project."  
  
"The excuse that never fails!" Hirakazu grinned. "Kenta-kun, why don't we get a move on?"  
  
Shuicon shrank back a silence followed. Kenta stood. "No thanks. I'll go on my own." He nodded to the others and walked out, while Hirakazu kept his face blank.  
  
Juri sighed. Things had almost been normal, a while back in the meeting. What had gone wrong to make them all this way? Growing up? "I have to get going too. I have a rehearsal for the school play.Ruki-chan, Suzie, let's get together sometime soon. We haven't had a sleepover in a while."  
  
"I don't think I'm allowed." Ruki lied. Sleepover? That would be way too tense. Even between the girls problems had sprung up, although they hid it better.  
  
"Me either." The fourteen-year-old looked sincerely sorry. "Nii-chan, I still don't see why you want to stay behind this weekend. I mean, you'd think you'd WANT to go to Grandma and Grandpa's!"  
  
The azure-haired boy shrugged. "I just don't feel like it, Suzie. I'll be fine. Yui will keep me company."  
  
"Nii-chan, she's the family CAT. Some company."  
  
Jenrya sighed. "Suzie, just get a move on before Mom kills you for being late!"  
  
Blinking, Shuicon glanced at the clock. "Kami-sama! You're right!" Waving hurriedly at everyone, she ran out, muttering something about her watch's alarm not working. Juri stood and left as well, Hirakazu not far behind.  
  
Takato stood, smiled at Jenrya and Ryo, and left. Ryo followed, smiling at the two remaining trainers. "Later."  
  
After they left, Ruki glared at Jenrya. "Hurry up and get out. I don't have all day!"  
  
Snapping his head up, Jenrya flushed. "Gomen ne. I was thinking."  
  
"Like I care. I need to get started on my house chores. If I don't finish them, it'll be your fault!" The auburn-haired girl tapped her foot impatiently.  
  
"Gomen ne." Jenrya gave a hurried bow and took off.  
  
~  
  
Slipping off his shoes as he entered the house, Jenrya bent down to scratch Yui behind her ears, smiling as the calico began to purr. Mewing sweetly, the cat padded over to her food bowl, and looked up piteously. "Hungry again, are you? I filled your bowl before Shuicon and I left." Yui mewed again. "Daijoubu, daijoubu.but I still can't see where all of this food goes to. You're as thin as a stick!" Taking the bowl, he searched around for the can opener, and then a can. The whole process took basically no thought, mostly because he was often times the only one who managed to remember everything Yui needed. In return for his care, Yui thought of him as her specific owner, claiming him for a bed when he sat down to watch a movie with his family, and shedding on all of his clothes and pillows, giving him baths with her tongue when she thought it necessary. Which she often did.  
  
Setting the bowl down gently, he filled up the water bowl, and smiled. Yui mewed happily, and began to fill herself with food, her one true love. Standing again he went to his room, which was the last in the hallway. Opening the door, he shrugged of the school uniform and was quickly into khaki shorts and a plain forest green T-shirt. Yui let herself in, then hopped onto Jenrya's bed, making herself comfortable. Jenrya glanced at the cat. "Already done?" He shook his head. "Again the question of where all your food goes. I already know where your hair goes. All over my clothes!" Looking down, he could see the T-shirt, although cleaned recently, already had orange and white hairs on it. "Sleeping in my laundry basket again, no doubt." Usually Terriormon would try to keep Yui from doing so, but the digimon had been busy lately, patrolling the Digital world with the other Digimon. If there were trouble, they would know instantly.  
  
BRIIIIIIING! BRIIIIIIIING!  
  
Picking up the portable, which was still in his room because of his late-night call from his Grandmother, Jenrya sat on his bed, cradling the phone between his shoulder and ear, and leaned back, scooting Yui off his pillow a bit. Reaching for a sheet of paper and a pen in case he needed to take a message, Jenrya sighed. "Moshi moshi."  
  
"Jenrya! Try to sound more polite when you answer the phone. Think! If you sound bored and it's someone important, you could make them mad!" His mother scolded.  
  
"Gomen ne, Okaa-san." He apologized, pushing Yui to the side as she tried to sit on his face, then petting the cat. "I'm just tired, is all."  
  
"Alright. Just try not to do it again." His mother sighed. "Anyways, we'll be back early Monday morning, so don't get into too much trouble while we're gone."  
  
"Okaa-san, I have all of two days and ten piles of homework. When would I possibly find the time to get into trouble?"  
  
"Knowing you, Jenrya, you've probably already finished all of that work. Anyways, I left you a little money on the counter. It should be enough to buy this week's groceries. If you wouldn't mind, could you go grab the essentials?"  
  
"Okaa-san," Jenrya said, tone serious, "I can't find a part-time job. I know we need the money, but no one would take me on."  
  
"Nonsense!" His mother sounded firm. "Shun is out of high school, and he already has a full-time job, and that helps a lot! So does Momo's part- time job. We still need the money, but.Your father, I know he wants you to get a job, but I can't let you. I know you want to help Jenrya, but really.you're not helping. You're eating less, and that only makes you more likely to get sick."  
  
"Shuicon's getting so thin! I can't eat as much as I did, if I want HER to be healthy..."  
  
"You never ate a lot, Jenrya, and now you're eating almost nothing! And your grades have been low, even before our money troubles started! You're failing school, Jenrya! You once told me you wanted to get into Tokyo University. How can you do that with your grades?"  
  
"How can I do that when Shuicon still needs to go to college? I'll just take the local college. It would cost top much to go to Tokyo U! There would be the moving to Tokyo part, the supplies.Shuicon deserves to go to a good school!" Jenrya argued.  
  
"Kami-sama, Jenrya, you're not Shuicon's parent! And as for college, your grades won't get you into even the local college! You have one year left of school after summer comes, and you have no resume to be proud of! You're sixteen, Jenrya, and you have almost no future! You've been getting into fights, and you don't speak to us of listen to us or anything! Why can't you be more like Shun?" His mother sounded pleading.  
  
Why couldn't he be more like Shun. There it was. The question that every conversation ended with, the question that was always asked when he couldn't be what he needed to be. The question the showed he was failing life. Why couldn't he be like his oldest sibling, his only brother? Why couldn't he be more like Shun?  
  
"Gomen ne." He said, softly.  
  
Jenrya's mother sighed, sounding tired, her fire gone. "No, I'm the one who should be sorry Jenrya. Gomen ne. I'm just stressed out. Grandmother and Grandfather may lend us the money, but it's not sure. I'll call tomorrow."  
  
Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep..  
  
Setting the phone down with a click, Jenrya covered his face with his arms, closing his eyes. Yui licked his ear, and he sighed, sitting up. The cat mewed with concern. "Gomen ne, Yui. I have to go get the groceries." He scratched the cat behind the ears, then stood.  
  
~  
  
Buying Shuicon one of the candy bars wasn't a hard decision. They were her favorite kind. She had been sad when told they didn't have the money to buy them anymore, but had continued being cheerful. Jenrya wasn't supposed to buy things that weren't essential, but if he gave up his dinner that night, he could buy it. When he gave it to his younger sister, her face would light up.  
  
His parents and older siblings thought his doting on Shuicon was strange, but to Jenrya and Shuicon it was perfectly normal. She was almost like his own child, even though she was more so his younger sister. When Shun had had sports clubs and Momo had Mathletes, and his parents were out at work or with friends, before the Digimon had come into the picture, and even when they had, Jenrya was appointed to be Shuicon's babysitter. He knew what to say and how to say it to get her to calm down and behave, and knew what her favorite thing to eat was, and just how to make it. Having seen her grow her entire life, from a sleepy infant to an energetic young girl was something that was painful and joyful, in a strange way. Her tastes grew, and he still remembered what they had been, even as he took new things into memory. Her first word had been his name, even though he had told his mother it had been 'mama', for her sake. It had been what his mother wanted to hear, as if that one word meant the entire world.  
  
Shuicon sometimes teased him, gave him a hard time, just because they were siblings, but she came to him with her problems, asked him to help her with homework, and took walks with her older brother, knowing with all her mind and heart that he was someone she would always be able to trust, someone who always made time for her. Someone who wouldn't judge her. Someone who would watch sappy love movies with her just because he was her older brother and she was his younger sister, and had asked him to. He was her older brother. She had thought, when she was little, that at her Western-style wedding he would give her away, because he was the one who had always been there, who had taught her morals and values. She had thought the one who had always made time for her admist school and club meetings and things that popped up, who always smiled and asked her what had happened during the day when she got home. When she found it was her father who would give her away, she was disappointed, and confused, but reluctantly accepted it.  
  
They had grown apart, a bit, because of events a things beyond their control. But the tie of sister and brother would always be there. When the money problems came about, Shuicon didn't question Jenrya giving her some of the food he was to eat. She knew that arguing with him would do nothing, and also knew that she was too hungry to argue. In a way, he had always seemed like more of a parent then her blood-parents.  
  
And so, to them it wasn't all that strange that he would make sacrifices for her to have what was needed, or even just a small candy bar because he knew it would make her happy. Someday she would try to pay him back, if she could. She thought that may be why in Western weddings the father walked the bride down an aisle, a path to a new life and an old life, both mixed into one, giving her away to the groom who stood there. So that the parents could see that yes, their baby was fine, she had grown up into someone lovely kind graceful, that they were helping her across the bridge, would still be behind her if she fell, but were helping her go further along the path. Maybe, just maybe Shuicon could get Jenrya to do that so he would know all that too. When Shuicon had told Jenrya about it, he had smiled, but looked doubtful. He had said something about their father having more of a right to give her away. Neither really felt it true.  
  
He would give the candy bar to Shuicon when she returned, give it to her before she left to walk with her friends, just as they stepped out of the apartment together. That way his mother and father would not see the forbidden candy that he had bought with the money he was supposed to use to buy himself dinner with. That way she would have it to take to lunch, to have something special to eat besides the meager food they could now afford, to be able to eat something she loved.  
  
Jenrya knew that Shuicon would be angry with him, for not eating, but she would smile, trying not to cry because of worry, knowing already that it would do him more good for her to be happy.  
  
The groceries weren't heavy-they all fit into one small bag. Jenrya's mother and father would try to bring more food with them when they returned. Hopefully Grandmother and Grandfather would lend them money.  
  
Stepping out of the store, he began to walk. "Jenrya?" Someone beside him sounded surprised.  
  
Turning, he saw Ruki, struggling beneath three bags. She was likely out running errands for her mother. "Ruki-san?"  
  
"What are you doing here?" The auburn-haired girl asked, just as she noticed his bag. "Oh." Her face turning stern, she frowned. "I have to get going."  
  
"Do you need some help?" Jenrya asked, grabbing the heaviest of the bags as she tried to refuse. He could carry his bag and her heavy bag in one hand. She wouldn't let him take a second.  
  
"I suppose you can carry that one." Ruki sounded reluctant, and obviously wasn't thrilled with the offer, but he was stronger then her and knew karate and she really didn't feel like arguing and the bag had been so heavy."You didn't get much." She added, eyeing his bag.  
  
"We went shopping yesterday." The gray-eyed boy lied. "And Momo forgot to get a few things." He tensed. Hopefully she wouldn't sense the lie.  
  
Ruki nodded, not questioning it. Waiting for her to ask something more, Jenrya listened to the long silence. The girl didn't seem inclined to say anything.  
  
Relaxing as they reached the park, Jenrya got used to the easy rhythm of the pale girl's footsteps and the light pattering of the rain as it reduced to a sprinkle. "Isn't it beautiful?" It took a moment for Jenrya to recognize Ruki's voice, and by the time he answered in the affirmative, he realized she hadn't been speaking to him or anyone else, but would have said that even if he hadn't been there. The auburn-haired girl looked over at him. "Oh? And why do YOU think it's beautiful?" She asked a bit grudgingly, as if she didn't believe him.  
  
"I don't know. Why do you?" Jenrya looked out at the almost endless grass and twisted scarred trees and misty rain and tender blossoms and leaves fallen too early from trees and swingsets and the path and benches and lampposts and worms basking in the sun that began to peek out from behind the white-gray rain cloud and at the girl beside him once again. "There isn't really a way to put any of it into words."  
  
"I love the aroma it leaves behind, this type of day." Ruki said abruptly. "But I guess you're right.there are so many things about why this is all beautiful that I can't name or explain or describe or find words fitting of. I wish I were a poet, so that I could attempt to capture this moment, to live forever in words."  
  
"My english sensei says you're already a poet if you feel that you can't put what you see into words because it overwhelms you. She says that all you need to find it is to sit quietly still in your heart of hearts and let the feelings wash slowly over you, capturing them in your mind and on paper." Jenrya said. "She's from Canada, I think. Originally, anyways."  
  
"That sounds like something Grandmother would say." Ruki looked almost affectionate when she mentioned her beloved Grandmother. She seemed softened, in a way. Those who went over to the Makino household even once while Seiko was there knew that she was probably one of the only people Ruki fully trusted, or even showed respect to. Sometimes Ruki would get angry at her Grandmother's ability to read her, but Seiko was able to, amazingly enough, calm the violet-eyed girl's fury of anyone understanding her.  
  
"Seiko-sama is very wise." Jenrya said, voice soft.  
  
Ruki shook her head. "Hai! She's always giving us advice. My mother and I, I mean. I'm the one who's more likely to take it, though." She jerked out of her thoughts, as if just noticing whom she was talking to. "Not like I need it, or anything."  
  
Jenrya hid a small grin. "Of course not."  
  
The auburn-haired girl flicked her braid over one shoulder with a single movement of her head. "Anyways, I don't see why you're going on about how beautiful it is. You are such a sap."  
  
Not pointing out the fact that she had been going on about it as well, he shrugged. "So where is Seiko-sama, anyways?"  
  
The other Tamer stopped in her tracks, three quarters of the way home, still in the park, face blank. Ruki looked down, erasing any indication that she had been carrying a slightly normal conversation with another Tamer, a now rare occurrence for any of them. "She just went on a year-round cruise. Guess she wanted to get out for a while." Out of a place where arguments with Ruki's mother were more frequent then ever, out of a place where new boyfriends accompanied Rumiko home every night, out of a place where her Granddaughter was falling apart before her eyes, out of a place where the only family left to her was crumpling, breaking, ripping apart. Out of the life that could no longer be called a life to Seiko.  
  
"Oh." Jenrya winced. "Gomen ne. I didn't mean to-"  
  
"It's fine." Ruki's voice was soft. "I don't care. You don't have any reason to apologize." The lie was for once easy to hear, easy to find.  
  
Then something strange happened. Ruki tilted her head, damp auburn hair shimmering in the sunlight, pale skin almost glowing as the misty rain bounced off of her, creating a silvery light, and turned to Jenrya, and tried to smile, to hide everything, to make the lie seem real, to make it as if she had never said anything. Her violet eyes were hard, and pained. And then, she seemed to almost crumple, although she stood as straight as ever. Her eyes were more pained, sadder, harder then ever, and a single tear ran down her cheek even as she closed her eyes to keep the tears from coming. They stood there for a while, Ruki trying to regain control of herself, trying to hide it.  
  
What had happened seemed small, and at the same time huge. A wall had fallen for a few precious seconds, something that wasn't supposed to happen, that Ruki hadn't meant to happen. She had shown through, little girl, warrior, and all her other selves, all in one moment wishing that it would all be alright.  
  
And after the wall had fallen, broken, and been slowly rebuilt, something that would forever change them and the course of their futures happened.  
  
Jenrya kissed Ruki.  
  
The boy with eyes so many shades of gray kissed the girl with eyes of so many hues of violet.  
  
He leaned in and kissed the girl he had seen for a few moments, for a lifetime, for an eternity.  
  
And then they stood, both scared, both unsure. And Jenrya set Ruki's bag upon the ground. Bowed quickly to the girl.  
  
And ran back through the park, his own bag in hand, hurried.  
  
Ruki crumpled to the ground, and touched a finger to her lips. ".What the hell. was that?" Was all she could whisper, trying to act as she always had. But she found she couldn't. "What.what was that?"  
  
END CHAPTER TWO  
  
^,^; I know, I know. It's taking me so long to do this. Any comments? Criticism? Questions? Threats to kill me? ^,^;;; Er, perhaps I shouldn't ask for the last one. Anyways, please read and review, so I know what I need to change and maybe add, or so that I know someone reads this fanfiction. Buh-bye for now! 


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